[Did they think it was worth it? He wants to ask that and so many more questions, but he's already decided what his last one will be, and he's sticking to it.
[Duval does nothing without reason. That includes changing the direction of this conversation.]
Okay. [He straightens up, too, but then draws his knees up onto the couch. With a little more shuffling, Duval is able to position himself to hold Purple proper. Chest to what he can only assume is Purple's chest, and his hands bunched in the back of their cloak.
For some reason, Duval holds his breath, anxious for Purple's reaction. He's steeling himself for them to pull away.]
[Do they pull away? Thankfully, no. They tense up, yes. Even expecting it and asking for it doesn't make this any easier on them. But after a brief moment, they move to bring their hands up... and gently clutch at the front of Duval's shirt. As if they have no idea how to properly return it. But they're trying. They still do their best to let themself sink into his hold, even leaning their cheek against him again as before.]
... Thank you.
[Look. It's rude not to thank someone for doing what you requested, okay. They weren't raised in a barn.]
Ah... is "warm" an acceptable answer? It is... warm.
[They're suddenly very glad their skin absorbs no light, because saying something like that does get their face to warm a bit. Flustered at their own words, of course.]
... Is there more that I am meant to do? Something about this, is... It does not feel correct. Not exactly. But I don't... remember...
“Warm” is good. I’d be concerned if it was still cold.
[As for what they can do... Duval hesitates.]
I think. You could hold me back. [And quickly, would be ideal. So they don’t feel how his heart beats fast under the rise and fall of his chest.] Put your arms around me rather than between us.
... Oh. I see. Yes, that... is the obvious conclusion to draw, hm.
[Suffice to say they feel a little dumb having needed to ask when the answer is so obvious, but look. They aren't perfect, they make mistakes. They're a little dumb sometimes. But no, Duval's right. That's exactly what they should do, so it's what they try to do. Fortunately for him, Purple isn't slow about it - having to pull back a bit to free their own arms before leaning in to return it - but the attempt probably doesn't help that pulse of his, considering it involves their arms looping around his shoulders to pull him in close. They're a bit tense and definitely had to squeeze their eyes shut to accomplish it, but... they're actually holding him. It's a big step, all things considered.]
[Hey, Duval’s also a little dumb. And for all they know, he could also be doing it wrong!]
That’s what one would normally do, but it’s not like either of us are really normal or trying to be, so -
[And then Purple’s arms are around his shoulders and there is much less space between them. Yeah, this is doing nothing to help his pulse. It only picks up faster, and Duval swallows around a lump that’s suddenly formed in his throat.
Duval leans his forehead on their shoulder, and it's like looking into a black hole. Everything about this situation is surreal but also... nice. It's nice. Duval hasn't let anyone get this close since Kenta. It's really nice.]
[Duval will get plenty of time to let his pulse calm back down, of course. It takes Purple plenty of time for nearly the same thing - that, and to let the tension in their shoulders go. Frankly, they're not sure why this is making them so tense in the first place. Purple is usually the calm and collected one that everyone looks to when things are going chaotic - it's always been as if nothing ever rattled them. But maybe that's why this is getting to them so much. They're finally talking to someone that respects them for things outside of their cool head or their intimidating presence or their powers, and this person's helping them broach an aversion they weren't completely aware of before - because no one had ever thought to get close enough to them for it to matter.
After a moment their shoulders droop into a hold that's much more relaxed, and though it's a bit hesitant, they even go so far as to lean their cheek against his hair.]
[Hm, nope. Pulse still wilding out after Purple leans against his hair like that - even though they've done that before? Duval's not sure why this time makes him feel way different.]
You're thanking me too much. I'm doing what a friend would do [Say it, say it.] because I care about you. And you care about me, too.
[Which is a fact that Duval still has a hard time wrapping his head around. But after Purple came to him with the cure first and disregarded their own state of being, there's no brushing it off anymore.
There's also no way he will be relaxing any time soon.
Maybe he should have stuck to talking about their powers after all..]
- Oh. ... My apologies. I am still struggling with... friendship and its intricacies. But you are correct. I do care about you.
[Quite a lot, in fact! They're probably already at the level of "I would kill for this person", but then again, they've been given very little reason to do so in the past -- (It's fine, don't think about it too hard.)]
... I also don't quite understand the etiquette for... holding someone else. So please tell me if you find yourself uncomfortable.
[Duval stop shoving his foot in his mouth challenge.]
You’re doing well. [Any discomfort comes purely from Duval’s own inexperience with being held and his curious heart beat. After a moment, he lifts his head to prop his chin on their shoulder.
And after another moment, he shifts again to press his nose into their hair.]
I didn’t think I would be, but I’m actually quite comfortable.
[Look, it's fine - even though Duval's good at shoving his foot in his mouth, Purple doesn't seem upset by it! If anything, it's just more to learn and figure out.
But feeling him shift closer, though... the skin on that side of their face prickles with a little bit of warmth, and they can't help but tighten their hold on him to match. It isn't very tight at all, of course, even with that. He can likely feel how thin their arms are, just thanks to this hug. But still.]
I feel there is some way we could be doing this that would be more comfortable... But I do not know what to do with my arms even when I am at ease, let alone trying something so new.
... Yet another reason I like my robes, I suppose.
[Are they implying they just float around with their arms hanging at their sides like some kind of stupid banshee? Yeah, kinda.]
[Purple is such a bizarre little (big) creature, and Duval wouldn't change them for the world.]
It's something you'll figure out eventually. It may even vary with different people. [As for their other point...] We could - hold each other on the couch? Or in bed would be - less cramped.
[He's not getting saucy. He's not getting saucy!!! Just truthful!!!]
Sometimes. When you hold someone from behind while laying down, it's called spooning.
[Duval wants to die.]
hands duval a shovel so he can dig his grave further
[That has them thinking about it, which is... at least sorta obvious from their tone. Sorta. They're leaning on him a little bit more as they think it over.]
[Duval’s grip on the back of Purple’s cloak tightens.] It’s very intimate...
[One of them would have to expose their back to the other. It’s an extremely intimate and vulnerable position to be in.] So spooning is off the table then.
[For now.
He takes a deep breath, easing back into the space he made for himself in the crook of their neck.]
I did not say intimacy is bad. Just that the act sounds intimate - If I'm recalling this correctly, you said you have difficulties with affection. Affection goes hand-in-hand with intimacy. I have no wish to see you push your boundaries for me.
As for me, it would be very new... but I trust you, Duval. I don't mind treading new ground with you.
["With you" being the obvious caveat. Anyone else, and they wouldn't have even gotten as far as sitting shoulder-to-shoulder. They'd have to be willing to be very patient with Purple as they feel everything out... something Duval's been managing surprisingly well.]
If there's anyone I'm willing to push my boundaries with, it's you.
[So they're on the same page there.]
And with you, I wouldn't call it "pushing." [He noses again. As if those gentle touches aren't also intimate. Like everything he's done for Purple isn't intimate in a way. Maybe he'll realize it later.] I trust you, too, after all.
[A thought briefly flashes through their mind - something akin to "I should tell Duval what I've done" - but it's gone as quick as it appeared. They're not even going to bother chasing that thought down again. They've got their priorities in order, and "telling Duval I'm probably considered evil by most" is not very high up on the list. But learning what exactly spooning sure does top that list, now!!]
Well. Shall we go? Together. Teleportation would be my first choice, but you seem incapable of such a thing... so I'll accompany you at your speed.
[Duval blinks. And looks in the direction of his bedroom.]
It’s just down the hall. [He keeps their hands intertwined.] You’re so funny.
[Their hands stay intertwined as Duval leads them into the other room, too. He only lets go when they’re at the bed, which he then climbs into.] I'll... be the little spoon.
[Because Purple is so much taller than him. Bigger than him. And Duval, despite all his overthinking and weaknesses, has never had a target on his back. Turning his back on someone doesn't make him as nervous as he thinks it might make Purple.] Which means you'll hold me. If that's okay.
This way you can touch me as little or as much as you want.
[The confusion's heavy in their voice, but there's no offense at the idea. They just don't get what was humorous about whatever they just said. It's also said as they float along behind him without any issue at all, staring down at their hands the whole way, of course. Thinking.
... But they're pulled out of whatever esoteric thoughts they were having when Duval clambers onto the bedsheets, and for a moment, they simply... stare at the bed.]
... "Little spoon." It follows, then, that I would be a... "big spoon"?
[And NOW they're settling themself on the bed to match, though they don't climb on - they just float themself up onto the bed outright, settling down with their magic rather than doing it with, you know, their limbs. Like their arms or legs. Why would they bother with that when they have magic to use instead??]
Yes, exactly. You’re the big spoon. [Why is he explaining spooning to an ancient mage. How did this happen to Duval. (besides that he literally did this to himself)] Again, I’m assuming that would be the best position for you - If I were the big spoon, I’d have my entire body pressed to your back and my arms around you.
You’ll have more control as big spoon -
[Stop Saying Big Spoon. Stop saying anything related to spoons!
Duval pinches the bridge of his nose, throwing himself back into the pillows much like an exhausted toddler. A short moment later, he releases the pinch to look over at Purple.]
[For a moment, just a little blip of a second, Purple considers asking Duval if he's sure he wants to do this. He doesn't look very comfortable after all, especially with the way he cuts himself off like he's frustrated with himself. But the thought only lasts for that second. Again, Purple doesn't even bother going down that path, because why should they?? He said it's okay. So it's okay.
Fortunately (unfortunately?) for Duval, Purple has no plans to waste any time, either. Just going for the hug earlier proved to be much easier than hesitating like they had been with touch before - like ripping off a bandaid, or jumping into a cold pool. So that's what he gets treated to this time around, too. Their arms quickly tuck around his middle, eyes squeezed shut as they bury their face in his hair - it's almost like they're expecting something to happen and bracing themself for it, but fuck if they know what "it" would even be. After a moment, however... their hold on him loosens up a bit - not that it was all that tight, with how thin they are - and they open their eyes again, blinking a bit as they pull back from his hair enough to see.]
[It's not just Purple bracing themself. Duval does so, too: just about holding his breath as he waits for "it" to come.
Then, all "it" is, is the warmth of Purple pressed into his hair and their arms around him. Nothing catastrophic or uncomfortable about it. It's not even as awkward as Duval was expecting it to be.
It's - ]
It's nice. It's actually not so bad at all, is it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Did they think it was worth it? He wants to ask that and so many more questions, but he's already decided what his last one will be, and he's sticking to it.
Especially after that answer.]
Last question.
Do you still want me to hold you?
no subject
Yes, please.
no subject
Okay. [He straightens up, too, but then draws his knees up onto the couch. With a little more shuffling, Duval is able to position himself to hold Purple proper. Chest to what he can only assume is Purple's chest, and his hands bunched in the back of their cloak.
For some reason, Duval holds his breath, anxious for Purple's reaction. He's steeling himself for them to pull away.]
no subject
They tense up, yes. Even expecting it and asking for it doesn't make this any easier on them.
But after a brief moment, they move to bring their hands up... and gently clutch at the front of Duval's shirt. As if they have no idea how to properly return it.
But they're trying. They still do their best to let themself sink into his hold, even leaning their cheek against him again as before.]
... Thank you.
[Look. It's rude not to thank someone for doing what you requested, okay. They weren't raised in a barn.]
no subject
You're welcome.
[He rubs their back in small circles.]
How does it feel?
no subject
[They're suddenly very glad their skin absorbs no light, because saying something like that does get their face to warm a bit. Flustered at their own words, of course.]
... Is there more that I am meant to do? Something about this, is...
It does not feel correct. Not exactly. But I don't... remember...
no subject
[As for what they can do... Duval hesitates.]
I think. You could hold me back. [And quickly, would be ideal. So they don’t feel how his heart beats fast under the rise and fall of his chest.] Put your arms around me rather than between us.
no subject
Yes, that... is the obvious conclusion to draw, hm.
[Suffice to say they feel a little dumb having needed to ask when the answer is so obvious, but look. They aren't perfect, they make mistakes. They're a little dumb sometimes.
But no, Duval's right. That's exactly what they should do, so it's what they try to do.
Fortunately for him, Purple isn't slow about it - having to pull back a bit to free their own arms before leaning in to return it - but the attempt probably doesn't help that pulse of his, considering it involves their arms looping around his shoulders to pull him in close.
They're a bit tense and definitely had to squeeze their eyes shut to accomplish it, but... they're actually holding him. It's a big step, all things considered.]
no subject
That’s what one would normally do, but it’s not like either of us are really normal or trying to be, so -
[And then Purple’s arms are around his shoulders and there is much less space between them. Yeah, this is doing nothing to help his pulse. It only picks up faster, and Duval swallows around a lump that’s suddenly formed in his throat.
Duval leans his forehead on their shoulder, and it's like looking into a black hole. Everything about this situation is surreal but also... nice. It's nice. Duval hasn't let anyone get this close since Kenta. It's really nice.]
no subject
Frankly, they're not sure why this is making them so tense in the first place. Purple is usually the calm and collected one that everyone looks to when things are going chaotic - it's always been as if nothing ever rattled them.
But maybe that's why this is getting to them so much. They're finally talking to someone that respects them for things outside of their cool head or their intimidating presence or their powers, and this person's helping them broach an aversion they weren't completely aware of before - because no one had ever thought to get close enough to them for it to matter.
After a moment their shoulders droop into a hold that's much more relaxed, and though it's a bit hesitant, they even go so far as to lean their cheek against his hair.]
... Thank you. For your patience.
no subject
You're thanking me too much. I'm doing what a friend would do [Say it, say it.] because I care about you. And you care about me, too.
[Which is a fact that Duval still has a hard time wrapping his head around. But after Purple came to him with the cure first and disregarded their own state of being, there's no brushing it off anymore.
There's also no way he will be relaxing any time soon.
Maybe he should have stuck to talking about their powers after all..]
no subject
But you are correct. I do care about you.
[Quite a lot, in fact! They're probably already at the level of "I would kill for this person", but then again, they've been given very little reason to do so in the past --
(It's fine, don't think about it too hard.)]
... I also don't quite understand the etiquette for... holding someone else.
So please tell me if you find yourself uncomfortable.
no subject
You’re doing well. [Any discomfort comes purely from Duval’s own inexperience with being held and his curious heart beat. After a moment, he lifts his head to prop his chin on their shoulder.
And after another moment, he shifts again to press his nose into their hair.]
I didn’t think I would be, but I’m actually quite comfortable.
[That might just be because it’s Purple, though.]
no subject
If anything, it's just more to learn and figure out.
But feeling him shift closer, though... the skin on that side of their face prickles with a little bit of warmth, and they can't help but tighten their hold on him to match.
It isn't very tight at all, of course, even with that. He can likely feel how thin their arms are, just thanks to this hug. But still.]
I feel there is some way we could be doing this that would be more comfortable...
But I do not know what to do with my arms even when I am at ease, let alone trying something so new.
... Yet another reason I like my robes, I suppose.
[Are they implying they just float around with their arms hanging at their sides like some kind of stupid banshee? Yeah, kinda.]
no subject
It's something you'll figure out eventually. It may even vary with different people. [As for their other point...] We could - hold each other on the couch? Or in bed would be - less cramped.
[He's not getting saucy. He's not getting saucy!!! Just truthful!!!]
Sometimes. When you hold someone from behind while laying down, it's called spooning.
[Duval wants to die.]
hands duval a shovel so he can dig his grave further
[That has them thinking about it, which is... at least sorta obvious from their tone.
Sorta.
They're leaning on him a little bit more as they think it over.]
... Is that okay? That sounds... intimate.
digs to the center of the earth
[One of them would have to expose their back to the other. It’s an extremely intimate and vulnerable position to be in.] So spooning is off the table then.
[For now.
He takes a deep breath, easing back into the space he made for himself in the crook of their neck.]
There’s nothing wrong with staying like this.
no subject
If I'm recalling this correctly, you said you have difficulties with affection.
Affection goes hand-in-hand with intimacy. I have no wish to see you push your boundaries for me.
As for me, it would be very new... but I trust you, Duval. I don't mind treading new ground with you.
["With you" being the obvious caveat. Anyone else, and they wouldn't have even gotten as far as sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.
They'd have to be willing to be very patient with Purple as they feel everything out... something Duval's been managing surprisingly well.]
no subject
[So they're on the same page there.]
And with you, I wouldn't call it "pushing." [He noses again. As if those gentle touches aren't also intimate. Like everything he's done for Purple isn't intimate in a way. Maybe he'll realize it later.] I trust you, too, after all.
[Okay. Okay. Duval pulls back, albeit reluctantly.]
We can try. Stop the moment it feels weird.
At the very least, the bed is more comfortable.
no subject
[A thought briefly flashes through their mind - something akin to "I should tell Duval what I've done" - but it's gone as quick as it appeared.
They're not even going to bother chasing that thought down again. They've got their priorities in order, and "telling Duval I'm probably considered evil by most" is not very high up on the list.
But learning what exactly spooning sure does top that list, now!!]
Well. Shall we go? Together.
Teleportation would be my first choice, but you seem incapable of such a thing... so I'll accompany you at your speed.
no subject
It’s just down the hall. [He keeps their hands intertwined.] You’re so funny.
[Their hands stay intertwined as Duval leads them into the other room, too. He only lets go when they’re at the bed, which he then climbs into.] I'll... be the little spoon.
[Because Purple is so much taller than him. Bigger than him. And Duval, despite all his overthinking and weaknesses, has never had a target on his back. Turning his back on someone doesn't make him as nervous as he thinks it might make Purple.] Which means you'll hold me. If that's okay.
This way you can touch me as little or as much as you want.
no subject
[The confusion's heavy in their voice, but there's no offense at the idea. They just don't get what was humorous about whatever they just said.
It's also said as they float along behind him without any issue at all, staring down at their hands the whole way, of course. Thinking.
... But they're pulled out of whatever esoteric thoughts they were having when Duval clambers onto the bedsheets, and for a moment, they simply... stare at the bed.]
... "Little spoon." It follows, then, that I would be a... "big spoon"?
[And NOW they're settling themself on the bed to match, though they don't climb on - they just float themself up onto the bed outright, settling down with their magic rather than doing it with, you know, their limbs. Like their arms or legs.
Why would they bother with that when they have magic to use instead??]
no subject
You’ll have more control as big spoon -
[Stop Saying Big Spoon. Stop saying anything related to spoons!
Duval pinches the bridge of his nose, throwing himself back into the pillows much like an exhausted toddler. A short moment later, he releases the pinch to look over at Purple.]
Do whatever you’d like.
[He means it. The trust is there.]
no subject
But the thought only lasts for that second. Again, Purple doesn't even bother going down that path, because why should they??
He said it's okay. So it's okay.
Fortunately (unfortunately?) for Duval, Purple has no plans to waste any time, either. Just going for the hug earlier proved to be much easier than hesitating like they had been with touch before - like ripping off a bandaid, or jumping into a cold pool.
So that's what he gets treated to this time around, too. Their arms quickly tuck around his middle, eyes squeezed shut as they bury their face in his hair - it's almost like they're expecting something to happen and bracing themself for it, but fuck if they know what "it" would even be.
After a moment, however... their hold on him loosens up a bit - not that it was all that tight, with how thin they are - and they open their eyes again, blinking a bit as they pull back from his hair enough to see.]
... Is this okay?
no subject
Then, all "it" is, is the warmth of Purple pressed into his hair and their arms around him. Nothing catastrophic or uncomfortable about it. It's not even as awkward as Duval was expecting it to be.
It's - ]
It's nice. It's actually not so bad at all, is it?
[Purple will feel him relax in their hold.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)